I have a friend, let's call her Alice. She is 21 years old as of May. Me and Alice are just friends, she is very beautiful and I care about her, but I have no interest in dating her. Out side of regular conversation and casual drinking I find her alcoholic lifestyle and her lack of motivation in life a persistent turn off.
Alice has been single for two years now.
Two months ago I tried hooking her up with a good friend of mine who's a successful college graduate. She was all about it until she found out he was Asian. No dice for her, whatever.
Flash forward to last night, I meet her and another friend of ours(f21) at a bar last night, where Alice breaks the news that she now has a boyfriend. I was pretty excited at first until she started talking about this guy.
They've been dating two weeks now and she's absolutely enthralled by this guy. Saying he's so nice to her, and buys her things, and he's really cool, etc.
Annnd he's 33 years old. Let's call him Bob. My first words were pretty rude, saying when she was born he was already in middle school..
Alice expressed some reservations about Bob, such as she would be a little bit happier if he lost 20lbs. And she hates walking around in public with him, because he absolutely looks his age and she looks like a typical girl in high school. Coupled with the fact she still has braces, they get a lot of glaring looks from strangers.
She wanted me to meet him that night and I was down for it until... I learned from her that Bob just exited from a 6 year relationship. I figured maybe bob came home and found his GF cheating on him, that's what I was expecting to hear. But what she told was litteraly "Bob came home one night, and decided he wasn't attracted to his girlfriend anymore and left it right then and there." The fact he even had the audacity to tell Alice about that bewilders me.
The manner in which Bob ended his last relationship commends no respect from me. How you can invest 6 years of you life into someone and tell them to take a hike? I feel absolutely terrible for that woman and how that must have felt for her.
That's when the asshole in me surfaced, so I excused myself and left before Bob got to the bar.
I don't like this guy already, I don't get a good feeling about the whole relationship. The fact that he's is 33 and she is 21, tells me that she is either incredibly naive, or he is incredibly immature. They are both on very different chapters of their lives and I feel she isn't ready to handle what's going on in his life. I don't know what they could possibly have in common. I feel this is nothing more than a rebound for him and I worry he would possibly dump Alice the same way he dumped is ex.
I feel they're both in this relationship for the wrong reasons. Other than sex and what slim to no hobbies they share in common, there is zero sustainability for this relationship. I don't think this guy is respectable or right for her. I do not see this relationship evolving into anything but disappointment for her.
As of now me and Alice are not talking. She texted me this morning asking why I left last night and later asked why I'm so pissed. She texted me a random picture of me and her at her birthday party, with no context. I never shared my full opinions with her. But I did tell her I don't like "Bob" and that he makes me very apprehensive, and if she really cared for my reasons to talk to me in person rather than some impersonal text.
Sorry for that dissertation but that's about where it's at. I really wanted to reach out to someone about this, but I don't know anybody that would be serious enough to talk about it. Alice and I's mutual friend seems to be taking her side on this issue. Needless to say its beginning to strain our friendships. Are my concerns legit or am I an asshole?
Alice has been single for two years now.
Two months ago I tried hooking her up with a good friend of mine who's a successful college graduate. She was all about it until she found out he was Asian. No dice for her, whatever.
Flash forward to last night, I meet her and another friend of ours(f21) at a bar last night, where Alice breaks the news that she now has a boyfriend. I was pretty excited at first until she started talking about this guy.
They've been dating two weeks now and she's absolutely enthralled by this guy. Saying he's so nice to her, and buys her things, and he's really cool, etc.
Annnd he's 33 years old. Let's call him Bob. My first words were pretty rude, saying when she was born he was already in middle school..
Alice expressed some reservations about Bob, such as she would be a little bit happier if he lost 20lbs. And she hates walking around in public with him, because he absolutely looks his age and she looks like a typical girl in high school. Coupled with the fact she still has braces, they get a lot of glaring looks from strangers.
She wanted me to meet him that night and I was down for it until... I learned from her that Bob just exited from a 6 year relationship. I figured maybe bob came home and found his GF cheating on him, that's what I was expecting to hear. But what she told was litteraly "Bob came home one night, and decided he wasn't attracted to his girlfriend anymore and left it right then and there." The fact he even had the audacity to tell Alice about that bewilders me.
The manner in which Bob ended his last relationship commends no respect from me. How you can invest 6 years of you life into someone and tell them to take a hike? I feel absolutely terrible for that woman and how that must have felt for her.
That's when the asshole in me surfaced, so I excused myself and left before Bob got to the bar.
I don't like this guy already, I don't get a good feeling about the whole relationship. The fact that he's is 33 and she is 21, tells me that she is either incredibly naive, or he is incredibly immature. They are both on very different chapters of their lives and I feel she isn't ready to handle what's going on in his life. I don't know what they could possibly have in common. I feel this is nothing more than a rebound for him and I worry he would possibly dump Alice the same way he dumped is ex.
I feel they're both in this relationship for the wrong reasons. Other than sex and what slim to no hobbies they share in common, there is zero sustainability for this relationship. I don't think this guy is respectable or right for her. I do not see this relationship evolving into anything but disappointment for her.
As of now me and Alice are not talking. She texted me this morning asking why I left last night and later asked why I'm so pissed. She texted me a random picture of me and her at her birthday party, with no context. I never shared my full opinions with her. But I did tell her I don't like "Bob" and that he makes me very apprehensive, and if she really cared for my reasons to talk to me in person rather than some impersonal text.
Sorry for that dissertation but that's about where it's at. I really wanted to reach out to someone about this, but I don't know anybody that would be serious enough to talk about it. Alice and I's mutual friend seems to be taking her side on this issue. Needless to say its beginning to strain our friendships. Are my concerns legit or am I an asshole?